Have you ever experienced miserable comforters? Over the last twelve months I have experienced significant amounts of loss and grief. As a result of these experiences, I have encountered two general groups of comforters and one of these groups has added to my pain rather than relieving it. Miserable comforters.
"Praise God."
"You need to be more resilient."
"This is part of God's plan for your life."
"Focus on the positive."
"What are the details?" [From people just seeking to satisfy their curiosity but who actually don't care about you]
"God is testing you."
"You must have done something wrong and God is punishing you."
All from people who have NO IDEA what it is like to experience this, although they act like they do. They don't even know the full story because they haven't taken the time to be there for you and listen WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. They are full of answers and advice but severely lacking in wisdom. Their comments echo what Job's friends said to him after he had lost his family and all his stuff, including his health.
Your children must have sinned against God, and so he punished them as they deserved. - Job 8:2*
God is punishing you less than you deserve. - Job 11:6
There is nothing you know that we don't know. - Job 15:9
Job, you upset me. Now I'm impatient to answer. What you have said is an insult, but I know how to reply to you. - Job 20:1-3
Have you ever seen anyone like this man Job? He never shows respect for God. He likes the company of evil people and goes around with sinners. He says that it never does any good to try to follow God's will. - Job 34:7-9
[God] protects those who are righteous; he allows them to rule like kings and lets them be honored forever. - Job 36:7
If they obey God and serve him, they live out their lives in peace and prosperity. - Job 36:11
God brought you out of trouble, and let you enjoy security; your table was piled high with food. But now you are being punished as you deserve. - Job 36:16-17
No one can tell God what to do or accuse him of doing evil. He has always been praised for what he does; you also must praise him. - Job 36:23-24
And what was God's response?
After the Lord had finished speaking to Job, he said to Eliphaz, “I am angry with you and your two friends, because you did not speak the truth about me, the way my servant Job did. Now take seven bulls and seven rams to Job and offer them as a sacrifice for yourselves. Job will pray for you, and I will answer his prayer and not disgrace you the way you deserve. You did not speak the truth about me as he did.” - Job 42:7-8
There are some things in life that we do not have the answers for. Let us acknowledge and accept this, as hard as it is. Lets be there for each other and listen without judgement and advice.
If you are going through a rough time in your life, don't feel bad about removing miserable comforters out of your life.
If you have been a miserable comforter, with help you can change, if you choose to.
ETA:
If you are needing help coping with stuff that is happening in your life and aren't sure where to turn, try calling the following numbers:
Lifeline 13 11 14 (Alternatively you can text or chat to them online at: https://www.lifeline.org.au/)
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 (or chat online at: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/)
You don't have to manage on your own.
*All Bible verses are quoted from the Good News Translation.
